Monday, July 25, 2011

Temptation


Temptation

Cloud covering sky,
Gentle rain,
Cool breeze,
Fragrance of earth,
Singing heart
And you!

---
Or
---

Cloud covering sky,
Gentle rain,
Cool breeze,
Fragrance of earth,
You
And …heart sings!
--
Choose the one you like!
--

16 comments:

PremI said...

Romantic!

Indeed the second one;
With Love, even a barren land is Heaven for the heart to sing...

Scarlet said...

I like the second one :-)

Happy sunday ~

Brian Miller said...

nice...either one works...love the smell of earth esp after a rain storm...nice natural elements...

Jinksy said...

The second - there's more temptation! LOL

twinkly sparkles said...

I prefer the second where there is not a pause at the end. You would think that the ellipse causes more of a break in the poem, but as I read it, it flows more naturally. The first one is the one where I stop and start up again.

I like that you printed both of them for the contrast.

Lovely! Thanks, twinkly

Anna :o] said...

Second for me too.

Anna :o]

Anonymous said...

romantic,...yes!

SandyCarlson said...

Such beautiful music!

Ramesh Sood said...

Heart should be singing.. that's all.. Harshadji.. beautiful..

Anonymous said...

I like the first...it makes me think of that "too good to be true" and Oh so happy feeling!

Madeleine Begun Kane said...

I much prefer the first one. It's more subtle.

Anonymous said...

This really made me smile! Lovely sentiment very well put! Thank you for sharing it with us!

kaykuala said...

The second one overwhelms but both provide good contrasts. Temptation can be a bane to people's wants if uncontrolled. Beautiful poetry!

Rosemary Nissen-Wade said...

Both are lovely. My preference is the first, saying it with straightforward joy.

Anonymous said...

I guess I'm the odd ball lol. I like the first better. :)

Anonymous said...

I like the first one. Guess im the oddball lol